Dolores Hirschmann: Master Public Speaking | E77
#77: Master Public Speaking with Dolores Hirschmann
Are you ready to level up your public speaking skills? On today’s show we are chatting with Dolores Hirschmann an internationally recognized strategist, Clarity coach, TEDx Organizer, Speaker & Author. She has over 20 years experience helping entrepreneurs, companies & organizations realize their potential — by guiding them to CLARITY — to define their CORE IDEA, message and market strategy needed to reach their next level of growth. As a speaking coach, Dolores guides speakers to go from successful professionals to thought leaders in their field. She is also a TEDx Organizer, and has authored two books that focus on effective communication ‘Stand Out The TED Way’ and ‘18 Minutes of Impact.” In this episode we’ll uncover the difference between what you do and what you stand for, we’ll get her insight on how to better gain clarity in your life and we’ll learn key tips for nailing your next speaking engagement.
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#77: Master Public Speaking with Dolores Hirschmann
[00:00:00] Hala Taha:
[00:00:00] Hey young and profiters. It's Hala, as our avid listeners know one of my favorite ways to kick off the show is to read the reviews we're getting off Apple, Castbox, YouTube, and any platform that enables you to leave a review. This week, I'm celebrating, reaching over 10,000 subscribers on Castbox. Shout out to everyone who left us a review and celebration,
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Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Hala Taha and on Young And Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life, no matter your age, profession, or industry, there's no fluff on this podcast and that's on purpose.
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[00:02:00] right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of ex FBI agents, real estate moguls, self-made billionaires, CEOs, and best-selling authors. Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity, how to gain influence, the art of entrepreneur
and more. If you're smart and light to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young And Profiting Podcast. Today on the show, we're chatting with Dolores Hirschmann, an internationally recognized strategist clarity coach, TEDx organizer, speaker, and author. She has over 20 years of experience helping entrepreneurs, companies, and organizations realize their potential by guiding them to clarity, helping them to define their core idea message and market strategy needed to reach the next level of growth.
As a speaker coach, Dolores guide speakers to go from successful professionals to thought leaders in their field. She's a TEDx organizer and has authored two books on effective communication.
[00:03:00] Stand Out the Ted Way and 18 Minutes of Impact. In this episode, we'll uncover the difference between what you do and what you stand for.
We'll get Dolores's insight on how to gain better clarity in your life and will learn key tips for nailing your next speaking engagement. Hey Dolores, welcome to Young And Profiting Podcast and so glad to have you on.
[00:03:22] Thank you so much for having me today.
[00:03:25] So for those out there who don't know much about you, could you just introduce yourself to our listeners and share a bit about yourself and what you do?
[00:03:34] Absolutely. So I am a clarity coach. What does that mean? I help people clarify their idea with sharing that the message that will have an impact in the world and clarify the way to scale it.
[00:03:48] Awesome. And so from my understanding, you work with speakers, entrepreneurs, authors, and executives, and you really clarify or help to clarify their message. Based on our research,
[00:04:00] I learned that you really found this true purpose and this expertise in terms of clarity and providing clarity to others in life.
When you immigrated to the US you were just 25 years old, you were newlywed. And some of those personal experiences and things that you went through helped you realize that providing clarity is really your true calling in life. Could you unpack that for us and share that story with us and how you came to be such an expert?
[00:04:26] Absolutely. So I'm originally from Argentina. That's where my accent is. Spanish is my first language and yes, I came to the US I'm married, my husband, who is American the age of 25. And yeah. Immediately, we didn't live in a city, so I couldn't have access to the traditional corporate job.
I have a background in business and I soon became a mom by the age of 27. So it was a mix of what can I do while I'm a mom. And I did what most of us will do is what's in front of me. And so I took different jobs and in the trajectory of becoming a mom of four. Working for a nonprofit and starting
[00:05:00] my own businesses at the age of 38, I was like, what am I all about?
I was low. I was confused. And I went back to school. I started coaching and studying coaching gave me kind of the tools to start unpacking myself in some ways, and to start finding clarity in my journey, because I think that it comes up a moment in our lives where we look back, especially if you're a creative or you don't have a traditional career path.
That you look back on, you're like, what am I all about? I've done this, I've done that, but nothing makes sense. And when I was doing that process of exploration and launching my coaching business, I realized that in one way or another, whether I was five years old, cause I asked my mom and my siblings. Or at the age of 30 or 40 in my different jobs, I was always playing a role of pulling pieces apart to understand the whole so that I could build a new version of whatever it was.
And so I
[00:06:00] decided to apply this to a place where I've always found a lot of ease and satisfaction which is speaking, messaging, and entrepreneurship as a whole. So today I really work with service entrepreneurs. Many of which feel like they are one more of a many, one more coach, one more account, and one more consultant.
And I help them understand how they are unique, how to communicate that uniqueness and stand out and grow the business based on that.
[00:06:30] Yeah, that's really cool. And it reminds me of something that I talked to a lot of my guests about which is a lot of young people, they feel like they don't know how to discover their talents.
And it's always like right under their nose. Like for example, you may be really good at designing a room or setting up a room a really nicely, and it's a talent that you have and everybody knows it, but you internally haven't realized that like you're supposed to be an interior designer or whatever the example might be.
And so for you, it was this clarity.
[00:07:00] People said that you're really good at finding clarity and helping to distill down to the really meaningful parts and then you've based a whole business around that. So that's really cool.
And how that came about, because, you get to almost the last mile and as you say that the last mile of clarity is under your nose, you cannot see it.
And so when I. 40 and launching my coaching business after I had become a coach, I was doing great. I loved it, but I felt there was something missing. Like I felt like there was a piece that I was missing something. So I asked myself, what would I do all day for free? And the answer to that was I would hang out with people with really big ideas.
And back then I had already been at TEDx organizer and in doing so as a volunteer, I realized how much I enjoyed and that I did have a skillset to help our speakers that were putting on stage, distill their message
[00:08:00] to their true essence so they could build their talks from the idea out instead of from the story in.
[00:08:08] that's another important point that you just mentioned. The fact that you were willing to you volunteered, you did it for free, and that experience led you to realize that, Hey, I can actually, make a living and love doing this for a living. And I think that's super important. A lot of people think I'm too good to intern or too good to work for free.
I personally intern for free for three years at a radio station. And that's how I fell in love with radio. So I think it's very important to get those experiences and find out what you're good at and what you like to do.
[00:08:36] Yes. And there's nothing that brings clarity more than that.
[00:08:42] True. So let's get more of an insight in terms of your perspective on clarity.
I was listening to a couple of interviews that you were on and you described in one interview that clarity is like an onion. So when I think of clarity, I really think of one thing. You're like laser focused on one thing, but I guess that's
[00:09:00] not your understanding. Can you tell us more about this onion representation?
[00:09:05] Yes. And so it goes along with action is that we can only take action on what we are, have some level of clarity right now. And as we take that action, it will be revealed the next layer of clarity. Some people, especially young people, I have a daughter who's 19. It goes oh mama, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. And I said to him, What is it that excites you right now? You might not define what you're going to be doing at the age of 40 by taking action on that, that you do have clarity right now, then you're going to be peeling one layer of the onion, all the way that you get to the essence of your work.
And it's okay. If it takes you a few years to find your thing. Right now I'm in a really good place. I love what I do, but I know that I'm not even close to being done. I'm I am loving what I do, and I know that this world will reveal another
[00:10:00] layer of me that when I get there, I will have clarity what that is.
I don't know what it is right now.
[00:10:05] So it's
more important to just have clarity, like in the moment, rather than trying to think about the future, it's more about what do you feel is right now and take action upon that. That's your viewpoint.
[00:10:18] Exactly except that, of course you have to have a through line that is tie with maybe a big dream.
And so it's not completely random, but it is about getting to the dream space, takes a lot of layers of accomplishment that might, you might don't know how you're going to, I don't know. Make that million dollar, whatever business, but you might know what to do right now. That will be conducive to that bigger dream.
So the bigger dream is still there and it is a through line, but the clarity of what to do right now, it can only be within the context of your reality, right?
[00:10:55] Yeah. Why do you think that people have such a hard time having clarity?
[00:11:00] Dolores Hirschmann:
[00:11:01] They're looking for certainty and clarity, like right now, we're in strange times and people are asking like I need to know.
I need to know my kids got to go back to school. Am I going to go back to work? And there's no answers. And I think for a while, the first few months of this pandemic, we were all frozen because we'd rather not take action. Cause we don't know. But now I think you're starting to see a shift where people are saying, okay, I need you to take some action.
I need to make some plan. I need to budget something, make decisions, even though I have no answers or the government has no answers. It's almost like when you are driving on night, do you drive a car at 60 miles per hour? And the only thing you can see is what your headlights. And you don't know this a road, youth, there's an experience of there being a road in the past, and you typically don't slow down.
You don't even think about it. You just drive. We don't do the same with life. We sometimes, if we only see
[00:12:00] as far as our headlights, if we only see as far as the next year or the next month, we tend to feel that's not safe. So we rather, lean back and not move forward. Not take it.
[00:12:12] So we Young And Profiting Podcast, like we're like all about actionable steps in order to improve ourselves.
We're all about action. So let's just take me for an example. I'll give you a scenario and maybe you can give me some advice on how I can get more clarity. So for me, like opportunity is a bound. This podcast is really blowing up. I started it two years ago. It was a small house. Now I have thousands of listeners.
We're number one, how to podcasts. I've got a huge following on LinkedIn. One of the biggest influencers on there, and now all of a sudden, all of these opportunities are coming my way. I worked full time at Disney streaming services and I'm being internally recruited for like another position. That's really interesting.
On top of that, I've starting a marketing agency.
[00:13:00] And without trying, it's like specifically for podcasters, I've got all of these big podcasters that want my services, like without even really trying. And I'm scaling my team and trying to figure out how I can accommodate those podcasters and launch those services.
And so I've got all these options, but I obviously can't do, I'm not super woman. I'm trying my best to be, it's just a lot. And I'm like, starting to feel like I'm going to burn out if I don't choose not to do something right. How can I be clear on which thing I should let go of?
[00:13:31] What kind of lifestyle do you want to have 10 years from now?
[00:13:36] Definitely money is a driver. That's not the only driver, but it's I work really hard. And so I want to be very successful and compensated for what I do. I also want to be able to have a voice and be able to help people and provide like self-improvement. So I know for a fact I don't want to get rid of the podcast.
I know that. It's more of balancing corporate job or becoming an entrepreneur. That's like where I feel like I'm just like at a cross.
[00:14:00] Dolores Hirschmann:
[00:14:01] Yeah. So I think it's important for you to clarify what does that look like in 10 years and just make a list. And what does your ideal day look like? Does it give me a Tuesday, 10 years from now?
And what are you having for breakfast? Where are you having breakfast? I want you to like, write it down as a word journal on present tense. That's going to give you a lot of insight of what you're working towards. What I said you need a through line dream, and then you'll be able to get clear of what needs to happen next.
And then you need to make a list of what is the position. We're speaking, honestly, your dream I'm assuming will be to be an independent financially abundant entrepreneur that has an impact and a voice with a plan.
[00:14:51] Yeah. That's that sounds perfect.
[00:14:56] What are the levers? What are the tools
[00:15:00] that you could use to get there and get there faster in the least effort? Why not? And as far as your corporate career, you want to look at it at how much value can I add to this corporate career? They keep on adding value. You have a great brand behind you.
This is a great brand. So how far can you add value to them while they are adding value to you as a personality, as a personal brand? And when is the limit where that's not going to add any more economic is a diminishing return, right? When we are hungry, when we are. The first drop of water is huge.
And then it's going to be a diminishing return. We will stop being thirsty. So when is it that your corporate path will stop adding value to your personal brand?
[00:15:48] Oh, wow. That's really interesting.
[00:15:50] I've been very honest and strategic here in that you want to be partnering with a brand and give it your best because they will position you
[00:16:00] just by the association.
And then there's a moment where there's not going to be a lot more return on that investment of time and you will be ready to move on.
[00:16:11] Yeah, I think you make a great point.
[00:16:13] Here's one thing I want to make sure that you understand and is that because I run businesses, I've sold businesses. And the truth is there's two parts to you scaling to the level that you want in financial abundance, and is understanding business in such a way that you are extraneous to you making a lot of money.
So because you eventually want to manage a very profitable set of businesses that don't depend on you showing up on a podcast every day.
[00:16:47] I think that'd be pretty much you to have that conversation, but when you can start creating a brand that is bigger than you and that you can have as systems and that team that can run, for example, your podcasts,
[00:17:00] the marketing agency part, you should be able to run that almost without you.
And that's all about systems. That's what I just did when I sold my business. One of my things.
[00:17:09] Yeah, it's so true. That's the most important part. And that's the hardest part is just to get systems in place where you're not the only reviewer and approver and need to be involved in every single decision.
That's how things become really stressful. Really fast.
[00:17:26] Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the things that we do. So right now, while I share that I kept people clarify their message. The truth is masters in clarity. Most of my time is spent on outside facing conversations with podcasts and stages. 90% of the work is done by my team because I have assistance.
And we now are doing systems for a client so that they can double the size of their businesses without them using more of their time. That's one of the things that we're doing right now.
[00:17:55] very cool. So let's get back to clarity.
[00:18:00] One thing that one of my researchers brought up to me when we were talking about you, she was telling you.
What about if like you're just too attached to your clarity and you run the risk of overfitting and your outcome that you want is so clear when you need to pivot or when an opportunity comes your way, you actually don't see it because you're just too clear on your end goal. How can we have clarity, but be nimble enough to pivot when we need to?
[00:18:30] Yes. So that's the difference between talking about what you do? And talking about what you stand for. So when you're anchored in what you stand for, it's much easier to pivot than focusing on. This is what I do. For example, if I were to say I'm a speaker, I only speak on life stages because I like to shake hands.
That's great. I have so much clarity. That's all I do can COVID you're screwed. And is it about speaking on stages and shaking people's hands? Or is
[00:19:00] it about helping people? I don't know, shift their mindset so they can have a bigger life. So understanding the difference between what you do and what is the idea behind your work is what will let you shift how you do it?
When something happens is the doing that doesn't change. That is harder to change, right? If you are clear on what is the ultimate outcome and the ultimate outcome is it's usually less tangible, then you will find another path to achieve that outcome. Does that make sense?
[00:19:32] Yeah. So it's not necessarily what you're doing in the moment.
It's the underlying purpose of it, right?
[00:19:38] Yeah. So let's think about a company like Amazon. I remember when Amazon started, cause it was 1997, cause I had been already working on digital spaces. And in 1989 or you were a baby in 1997, what they did at the time was they were a bookstore. They were the place where you would find books that were hard to find, but their
[00:20:00] proprietary system or the main patent was about easy
payment online, which back then was very cumbersome and they timed something called one-click pay. So you think of Amazon, you really think about buying something really easily. They don't care what they sell right now. They'll sell you a cow. They will sell you anything on Amazon because what their proprietary system is the ease of buying something online.
And so they've changed stuff, but the core state.
[00:20:33] Yeah, I think that's really interesting. And the other thing I want to talk about is the law of attraction related to clarity. And so there's this quote by a famous novelist. His name is Paulo Coelho. He's from Brazil, which is you probably know of him. And he says, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
And so when it comes to clarity, do you
[00:21:00] believe in when it comes to a phenomenon with law of attraction and like metaphysical views and things like that. Do you have any perspective on that?
[00:21:10] Absolutely. We cannot accomplish what we don't know we want, or know what it looks like. You've heard about vision boards or mental rehearsing practice by athletes a lot.
I remember what I was preparing for one of my TEDx events. I was really clear of the experience I wanted to have. I even had the dress I wanted to wear in my head. I hadn't found it, but I just, it was so clear to me in my imagination, what that day would feel like and what it would look like to the point that the dress I was thinking
just showed up on my feed and I bought it and he was perfect and it worked right. And so absolutely it's like when we know what we want, we can start leaning back and allowing it to show
[00:22:00] up and follow the science. It's just confusion that generates that mixed or confused vibration and energetic vibration.
And it, it rejects that we want.
[00:22:12] Yeah. It's like basically allowing like your subconscious to allow you to make decisions without even realizing it. That brings you closer to your goals. I feel like that's the power in the law of attraction when you know exactly what you want. You say it out loud, you repeat it all the time.
You really believe it. You feel like you already have it. And then I feel like the world really opens up. That's what based on my experiences. Anytime I really believe that something is going to happen, the universe just opens up and allows things to happen and brings opportunity in.
And you become, there's a great book from Dana Wilde called Train Your Brain. And it talks about something called unconscious ignorance. And is this concept that when we don't
[00:23:00] know what we want and you don't even know that it's possible, even if that thing was in front of you, you wouldn't recognize it because your brain is not trained to look for it.
But when we're clear what we want, we start looking for hints or ways to get there. And so we won't miss the sign. So it will point us in the right direction.
[00:23:22] That's really cool. I've never heard of that. It's called unconscious ignorance.
[00:23:27] Very cool.
[00:23:28] Train The Brain is the name of the book and Dana Wilde is the author.
[00:23:32] Very cool. Maybe I'll try to get her on the podcast.
[00:23:35] Oh, I could do an email.
[00:23:38] Oh, that'd be awesome. Okay. So let's move on to your expertise around preparing for public speaking engagements like Ted talks, you're the author of 18 Minutes of Impact: Move Your Audience to Action the TED Way. What was your motivation to write that?
[00:23:56] After volunteering as I was sharing, I looked at my as a
[00:24:00] couple of things. I recognize that even seasoned speakers struggled with effective communication. And I also recognized that audiences were hungry for clear crisp ideas, not long conversations that left them confused. And so I decided to use everything that I learned, coaching tech speakers, and put it in a book to teach anybody who is addressing audiences in for any purposes in any stages to help them organize their thoughts in a cohesive way, by sharing my seven steps to ride your talk process that really works in meeting the audience where they are and taking them on a journey
introducing the topic that your expert on.
[00:24:42] Yeah. And
so I'm going to dig deep into all the different things that you talk about in this book. One of the big points is that people need to know what their idea is and know how to explain that idea in a short and concise way. First of all, why is it so difficult for people to
[00:25:00] boil down what they want to talk about in a concise way?
And how does that hold them back from having a good speaking engagement?
[00:25:06] Yeah. So let me give you a very specific example that probably you and your listeners experienced it because it's not that hard. You go to a networking event and someone says, what do you do? And you proceed to explain exactly what you do to the detail of how you do it.
I work with people twice a week and I coach them on XYZ. And then they go on my honor program, which I love people get glacier. They don't listen to you and they shut down. But when you, someone says, what do you do? And you say, I help people move from point a to point B and then you close your mouth and you let it sink in and let them get curious and ask for more.
Now you hook them. And now you're in a conversation. So that to Sydney. And clarity that is focused on exactly what problem you solve is what people are looking to hear.
[00:26:00] Because I believe that we are humans and we are walking around the world with these antennas in our head. And those are tenets are attuned.
To anything that we are suffering from, let's say, how you, have you ever heard, or have you ever had a girlfriend or someone who's pregnant? All of a sudden, like they see everybody who is pregnant and they are just like attuned to anything baby related or a couple of years ago, we got a puppy and the puppy was like, oh my God, it was a mess.
And so I, all of a sudden, if there was a post or some comment or something on puppy training, my antenna would go up and I will click on it. So it's like the same thing that we're just talking about. The unconscious ignorance is just, you want to communicate in a way that you can match the antennas.
If the interns are tuned to how you solve a problem or what problem you solve most of the point. And so most people don't do that. Most people focus on
[00:27:00] all of the words. People would say I develop them at proprietary methodology that does X, Y, Z. It doesn't matter that you developed a proprietor messaging that might matter later when I'm curious about it, but just tell me exactly what problem you solve in the world, and then they get used and ask you more questions.
[00:27:18] Yeah, I think that makes sense. It's basically like getting them engaged by not giving away too much information and only giving them the most powerful thing that they would be interested in.
[00:27:29] Exactly. And then let that sink in and then let them say, oh, that is very interesting. Tell me more. And then you go into as deep as you want to go in marketing, there's a way of looking at marketing.
That's called push and pull. You probably know this push is when you're pushing information down people's throats. Pull is when you create an environment where the market is pulling information out. Yeah. It's actually the same in education. I work a lot in online
[00:28:00] education. You don't want to push, we're talking about, lot about virtual teaching right now because of kids.
You don't want to be in a situation where you're pushing stuff down kids' throats because they're stuffed. Literally they're not hungry for more information. And you cannot feed someone that's not hungry in the real world. And you also, you cannot teach you you cannot give information to someone whose brain is saturated at the time.
And so when you create a pool kind of conversation, where you give a little bit of information, you allow the audience or the person in front of you to get it. Digest it and say, oh, I want more. Then you're starting to have a dance of you providing something and then they pulling more or they're ready for more.
[00:28:48] Yeah. And that's more effective because they're engaged. They're part of the conversation. Steering the conversation. And so it's just all in all a better experience. So let's dig
[00:29:00] deeper on having a connection. I know that one of the biggest struggles that speakers have is that they can't connect with their audience.
They can't move them to actually taking an action. When you have a speaking engagement, usually you want them to do something, whether it's by your product or, schedule a coaching session, whatever it is, you want to drive them to something outcome. So what are the reasons why speakers can't connect with their audiences and then how can they better connect with them?
[00:29:28] Yes. And that I see that all the time. And I always say it's like dating. It is a balance of when you ask for that action. And what are you asking in return? Think about it this way. Let's say that you meet someone, you go on that first date and they say, do you want to come meet my parents next weekend?
And you'll say, hell no. I think it's too soon. And so there's just a candice to what you're asking that next action to be. And usually when that action is wrapped around something that they want, that you want them to do
[00:30:00] for you, it's less likely that they'll take that action. But when that action is more gifting and giving
to them. They're more likely to take it. So things like buying that product can be hard to take action on a quote unquote, first date engagement. This is the first time we met. The other thing is many people say let's book a consultation as a follow-up. The truth is I think that's uncomfortable because chances are that consultation is really about you selling me something.
So I'm not ready for that. So you want to play the what's called the gift, give, get gain to some extent. And it's like, how much more can you give these people to get them to trust you and engage with you before you are asking something from them?
[00:30:50] Yeah. Now reminds me of social media. Actually, that's the same thing with social media.
If you're building a community on social media, you want to build their trust,
[00:31:00] provide value, and only once they trust you and they're engaged with you, then you want actually offer them some sort of services. Some people do it backwards. They think that they're just going to build a community by offering services.
And it's no, you need to actually provide value and build trust. And then you can offer your services. That really reminds me a lot about social media as well.
[00:31:20] Absolutely. I did something called trust funnels. That is falls. Exactly that.
[00:31:24] Oh, that's interesting. Tell us more about that?
[00:31:27] Sure. So I don't believe in sales funnels.
I believe that trust is that a sale is a consequence of a trust based relationship, built. And that by the time that the person gets to know you, if they have the need of the problem that you solve, that they will choose you because they now are feel safe with you. And so while the final, if you want is a play on words and it's not very different from a sales funnel, I think it matters.
[00:32:00] How you approach the whole process and the intention that you have, and that when you focus on building trust based relationships, every step of the way, every action let's say your market or a prospect client takes on the top level, they're actually every time they open your posts or read your newsletter or subscribe to your podcast, let's say they're actually paying you.
That is using a different currency. They're using the currency of trust. And that currency of trust will eventually shift to currency of money dollars, but it's important that you, as a business, see all those transactions happening and value them for what they are. They are investing in you just in a different coin.
[00:32:46] I love that. I feel like that's such a cool analogy. I really liked that. How about knowing more about our audience? Is it important to discover who your audience is before you speak to them? And if
[00:33:00] so, like, how is that helpful?
[00:33:02] The more, who you're talking to, the more you're going to be talking to them, I'm bilingual.
I speak, I'm going to give you a very specific and basic example. I speak English and Spanish. If I don't know what language my audience is speaking, like literally. I can go to a Spanish event and speak in English and they're not going to get a word. So that's an extreme situation, but go down and think about it in the nuance of it is that you want to know as much as you can about the audience you're going to be talking to because you want to speak the language and you want to meet them where they are.
You cannot meet them where they are, if they don't, if you don't know who they are and what they are.
[00:33:46] So give us an example let's say we are talking to a group of kids, like how would you meet them? Where they are like, give us a real example of how that's practical.
[00:33:55] Yes. So how do you meet them? Where they are?
First of all, you ask questions.
[00:34:00] Let's say that it's kids and they are struggling. I don't know, with wellness, you are not going to talk about the dietary requirements of the government, dietary or nutritional kind of suggestions. You're going to talk about by asking the question, you're going to say, do you like chocolate?
What vegetables do you like? What part of the day or meal do you like best? Like you start asking them questions. So they feel that you are talking to them and then once they feel that you are in that room for their sake, and then you are willing to listen, even if they don't answer that the audience is always answering by clapping or nodding or shaking their head.
And but just those prompts of questions will introduce a subject that you're going to be talking about. And we'll make them feel that you are talking to them versus talking about.
[00:34:49] Got it. And so I also know that getting emotion out of your audience is really important. That's important when it comes to engaging them, connecting with them, you really want to
[00:35:00] trigger some sort of emotion.
So what are the different kinds of emotional triggers that we should go for? Is there ever a scenario where like fear is something that we should use or is there other emotions that often work better? How can we determine, like what's the best emotion to trigger.
[00:35:17] Yeah. So
it's not the best emotion is which emotion.
And when, so when I teach my speaking framework, it's all about the understanding that you're on a stage, you're sharing words, but you're also responsible for taking your audience to an emotional journey. And in the first beginning, you want to plant the seed of curiosity, or maybe even a hope by you introducing an idea that can solve a problem that people might have.
And then let's say that you spend a couple of minutes talking about the severity of the problem. Let's say that you're talking, I don't know about COVID and what are the risks and what are the stats? And this is what's happening. So the Nivea
[00:36:00] fear that might be felt while you're sharing that. But it's a fear that is used to help them understand that this is serious, but then you go back and say, you know what, but you don't have to feel that way.
And that doesn't happen. Need to happen to you. If you practice it is safety measures like a mask or social distancing or whatever. And so they go back to feeling hope and then you invite them to take action. And so you're starting to get them excited and feel empowered. So it's not about which emotion works.
It's about understanding which emotion you want them to feel through loud, the journey of a target.
[00:36:37] That's so interesting. And and it's also the same way that people write too. When you're writing a story, it's the same thing you want to just like, bring people through the ups and downs and really have them connect with what you're speaking to and being intentional about that.
I feel like can help you craft the right story that will engage people in the most powerful way. So I think that's really
[00:37:00] cool. I'm glad that we talked about that. How about body language? What's your tips in terms of body language that you should have on stage? Is that also something similar in terms of emotions where it might change throughout your presentation?
Or do you have like specific tips in terms of body.
[00:37:18] I think there's basic rules, like hands in the front, face your audience. Don't give them back to the origins. There's some basic rules. But beyond that, I always coach my clients that if you are anchored solidly in a message that you have and anchored in the emotion and the intention behind it, your body language will reflect it.
And I don't need to micromanage it as well. So there's all those basic no-nos like, don't give their back to the audience. Don't hide your hands. That kinda don't cover your mouth, that kind of thing. But beyond that, I liked the speakers too authentic as it can be.
[00:37:57] Yeah. A fun fact. It's not
[00:38:00] totally related to body language, but Ted speakers, they don't use podiums because there's a barrier, but yeah.
Speaker in the audience. Yeah. So that's really interesting. Is there any other like fun facts in terms of.
[00:38:11] Yeah, so I like men to not wear ties. I love men with ties and suits, but when I'm on a stage, you don't want to wear a tie. You want to be a little bit relaxed, man. You can wear a jacket and a shirt with the top button opened
[00:38:25] Is it because they seem more welcoming if they're not wearing a tie.
[00:38:28] More, open, more relaxed, more at ease, more like having a conversation. Yeah. Obviously there's moments that you must wear it, but especially for TEDx, I always told my speakers don't wear a tie, wear a suit, but not a tie.
That's funny. Cool. So how about like just general mistakes that you see speakers make? So that we can avoid them if we ever have a big speaking engagement?
[00:38:54] I think the number one is, do not introduce yourself in the first two minutes. If nobody
[00:39:00] introduces you, then go on the stage, ask people a question or start with your presentation and then let later introduce yourself because nobody really wants to know who you are until you give them a reason to know who you are.
[00:39:15] Yeah. And then I also know that the first 60 seconds of a speech is super important. Can you tell us about that?
[00:39:20] Yeah, so do not use the first 60 seconds to introduce yourself, but use it for 60 seconds to engage with the audience by asking them a question or telling them a present tense story.
[00:39:32] Got it.
So your recommendation to open up a speech is usually to tell a story, right?
[00:39:38] Either way we call resonant questions or a story in present tense, so that people feel that you are in the moment in the scene, right?
[00:39:47] Yeah, something else that I saw based on my research is that you actually help people write a script for their Ted talks.
At least you previously did it. Yeah. And so I do, yeah, you do each
[00:40:00] currently. And I had other speakers on like Eric Edmeades, he's a speaker from mind valley. And when I was talking to him about public speaking, he was saying that. He never scripts it and you should never script it. And basically you should always tell stories from your heart.
So they seem authentic and you might have like a story journal where you have like a list of all your different stories that, that you have written down somewhere. But when it comes to actually telling your stories in the moment, you should never be like referencing a script. It should always be coming from your mind since you went through it yourself.
I understand both perspectives. Sometimes on my podcasts, I do more scripting. Sometimes I do it more freestyle. It just depends. So I understand both perspectives and see the benefits of both, but help us understand why you think that scripting is the right approach, at least for the Ted talks.
So there's a difference between scripting and memorizing and scripting and rehearsing. So scripting
[00:41:00] especially if you have not spoken before you want to script, because you want to organize your thoughts prior to your engagement, and then you start anchoring those thoughts in the points you want to make. But yes, absolutely.
The stories will probably just flow because you have that experience. The thing with a TEDx is if you have only 17 minutes to talk, you don't want to be completely free. Because then you're going to be stopped mid-story at minute 17. So it really depends on the context and the purpose of the speaking engagements.
I believe that a story is an element in a talk, not the talk itself. We select which stories you want to tell. And then you free flow through that moment, that two minutes of the story, but it is within a through line that you've set out to share with the world.
[00:41:52] Yeah. I think that makes sense. And even for me, like coming from podcasting and doing this, my best interviews are the ones that
[00:42:00] scripted out. And then I don't follow the script or like I follow the script, but I know it. I know what to say. And I have all these ideas that I wrote down. And then in the moment I'm natural and I just reference it. I don't read it. Those are always make for the best things.
Cause it's you've just fully prepared and your brain has memorized the important parts. You kinda know your flow. I feel like it's, I feel like some people they really stick to no scripting, just all natural. I'm going to wing it. And I feel like those people, at least when it comes to podcasting, like they don't have a great show.
And I think it's because they don't prepare enough.
[00:42:36] So the scripting is a sandbox for where, from where you're going to play. And so if you done the job of scripting it upfront, then you don't have to even read it. You'll remember that framework and you're gonna follow it.
[00:42:51] How about introverts? So me being an extrovert, I'm totally fine talking.
I can talk all day, but there's a lot of people who
[00:43:00] have a lot of trouble speaking, even in a small group, even in a team meeting, they just have trouble speaking up. So what are your tips to help introverts come out of their shell and, not be so terrified about speaking up on stage.
[00:43:13] It's really about being so committed to your message.
I've seen a lot of introverts wake up and really blossom when their message becomes more important than their fear of speaking. And so it's really about why are you speaking? What is the purpose? And when you are so passionate about that message you want to share while it still might be hard, you will overcome it for the sake of that.
A mama bear will get energy from somewhere when she needs to protect her cups.
[00:43:47] Thank you so much. This conversation was great. The last question I ask all my guests is what is your secret to profiting in life?
[00:43:56] Ooh. Oh yeah. I know having fun, no fun or
[00:44:01] I love that. And where can our listeners go to learn more about you and everything that you do?
[00:44:07] Absolutely. You can come to mastersinclarity.com and mastersinclarity on Instagram. Follow me. And yeah, that's where you find me.
[00:44:17] Awesome. Thank you so much, Dolores. It was a pleasure.
[00:44:20] Thank you so much for having me.
[00:44:22] Thanks for listening to Young And Profiting Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcast or comment on YouTube, SoundCloud, or your favorite platform. Reviews
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[00:45:00] Hala signing off.
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